I will admit, this is more of a psychological topic than philosophical, and no, I am no shrink.
How do I say this without sounding like I will accomplish more than you hope?
I see this person walking towards me. We nearly make love with our eyes as they meet. We continue to pass by each other, what seems ever so slowly, only allowing our contact to resume half a second longer than it normally would have...I blush and resist the temptation to look back.
How awkward would it be if he saw me do that?! I imagine how he might see things through those big brown eyes of his…
He must see a beautiful world.
He appeared so serene- he must have a good hold on reality.
The determination in his walk- he doesn’t let others get in the way of his goals.
All this and more I attained within seconds about somebody I have never known and will never know.
I am not alone in my actions.
‘Assuming’, in this case and many others, is the same as hoping.
Hoping I am accurate about all the superb aspects of this man who walked by, and kept walking…just as I did.
Was he presumptuous about me? Most likely.
This thought process is one way people get by on a daily basis, by tricking ourselves to believe people and events are better than they actually are.
That sandwich will fulfill those specific cravings in just the right way. But it won’t
That shirt will make me content with my appearance. Far from it
Today will be a great day! Maybe only parts of it will be
We, as humans are SO presumptuous that we don’t even recognize we are acting that way half of the time. We fantasize all the way to the depths of predicting, and/or acting out in our thoughts how internally we will feel or react in a situation, that either has not happened yet , or we are certain will never happen…we take it so far as to assume how others in our fantasies will feel and react as well.
Even when we are so off, so incorrect, to reconize how much so might disappoint, however, the fortune-telling never stops.
Why do we do this? Why do we presuppose behaviors and anticipate events even though we know we are inaccurate predictors of the future (palm readers aside;) ) and have no right to think we know exactly how somebody else will act?!
We are creatures of habit, we are also creatures of hope. What power does hope have that people feel the need to use it so compulsively and with rapid fire? Hope places one’s mind, or outlook, in the state most desired to see itself in. To hope like this distances the body
From reality and takes it somewhere better. Wouldn’t you always want to have things go your way?—they do, in your mind.
Be you a damsel in distress, your knight in shining armor ( or whatever you want him to wear) will come to your rescue—and he will smile just that way, and say exactly what makes you swoon….
He better…
You created him.
It doesn’t matter if he exists in reality, or how well you think you ’know him’ and what he “would” say
—Face it
This knight exists only in your mind, and only there also will you be rescued.
That stinks huh?
However, this seeming insignificant fantasy DOES affect your reality—even if just a little bit.
Thinking about the agony dissipating as the knight enters the scene—your breathing slows—endorphins are released as he tells you just what you were hoping to hear him say—frown lines are no more.
Even though—as we awake from our ‘Fantasy Land’, we begin to realize-- this will most likely never happen to me; internally, physically, in reality, your mind has successfully made you feel a little bit better than before. After all, this fantasizing did not come out of thin air ( even though it sometimes seems that way) Something in the real world sparked it.
Is it the internal human need to feel at ease—a basic want, so easily fulfilled by thinking of something pleasing? Is that the only reason behind why we hope so constantly, to the point we sometimes rely on our thought exercises to make us smile when reality is a bit more dim?—the reason we see what isn’t actually there? Could it be the mind and the body (oh man, I know those words set off fireworks somewhere) trying to attain a sense of well-being for themselves—is it a reflex to stressful situations? After all, stress kills, and instincts are embedded in each and every living being to aide in survival. I do not have those answers, but I hope I will someday have a more clear understanding.
Wish things will go just how you want—this will never happen if other individuals are involved, because they all want something different
Wish that person is as genuine as they seem, as funny, as caring and understanding, you think you have finally found someone worth your time, better than the rest even—they will disappoint you
Hope that in 5 years from now you will be just where you want to be, finally more successful and not dealing with the same problems you have in the present—you are only partially in control of this, unpredictable outside forces will forever be present in your life—even 5 years from now
Hoping is healthy. It detracts from the ugly truths which dictate our lives. Without hope—what is there?
Despair. No Hope.
People who are without hope usually don’t fare so well in the end.
In a way, your fantasies DO come true, in the sense that just by mentally conjuring them up—your outlook is brighter and your thoughts are at the very least directed in the direction you want to be headed. Just the adventure aspect in a good fantasy is enough to more positively fill up time. Hell, you can even function fairly well, have real life conversations while, in your mind, thoughts run wild and free. The mind is a vast and exciting place, please visit often.
No comments:
Post a Comment